Why is it so
difficult to release and forgive? Holding onto events is a defence mechanism
from an ancient portion of our brain. The Amygdala or “reptilian brain” acts
immediately at an offense and provides protection by building walls and holding
the emotions within them. This action was beneficial when we needed to act on
instinct, quickly, efficiently against other predators.
Today this is
not the case, we do not need to remember every offense or affront and build
walls because the situations are different, no longer life or death. But our
reptilian brain does not recognize this, thankfully our prefrontal cortex has
developed and now we are able to view emotional situations with equanimity and
have control over our emotional reactions.
To begin the
process, we need to put forgiveness into perspective; it is about not allowing
another’s actions to affect our life and our energy. Forgiveness allows for the
release of hurt and anger, provides nourishment to our heart centres and
facilitates our self love. It is not about allowing bad behaviour from others
or forgetting about the incidents that brought pain; it is about releasing
those negative emotions that do not belong to us and allowing karma and the
Universe to impart the lessons for the other person as is their job.
Forgiveness is
both simple and complex. It is a process that we can engage with conscious
decision making and by putting to rest the memories of what hurt us. It is not
about forgetting what happened; it is about not reliving the events. Forgiveness
does not happen with the wave of a wand, it takes work and effort to maintain a
forgiveness mind set.
For more helpful tools on forgiveness you can check out the Forgiveness Workshop on Etsy!
Blessings
Danielle
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